I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
