My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize