Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He did a backflip because drugs
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