So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
