Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
