omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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