we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
