just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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