i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
