But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
