how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
