just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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