she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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