All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
