im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
