I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize