it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
