never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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