Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
