so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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