Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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