So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
