How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
