Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
