No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
