I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I puked a lego.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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