Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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