if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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