Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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