She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
