we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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