CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
