singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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