I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
