Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
