At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We talked him into tasing himself.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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