I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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