The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
