I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this beer tastes like vomit already
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
MIDGETS
????
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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