You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize