I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize