I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
