he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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