After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
