hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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