i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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