so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
