I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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