it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
