franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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