So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
