Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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