This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
