I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
