I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
