I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Still dying that you shit outside
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
