Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize