problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
