i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
