I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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