She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
